Sunday, December 24, 2006


"Politically Correct" 12 Days of Christmas!

Canada and the U.S.A, with all of our problems, are countries like none other. Founded on Judeo-Christian principles, they are very tolerant, welcoming countries, "embracing" peoples of all faiths, colours, and creeds, and rightly so. Sometimes, though, I think we "trip over our own feet", trying not to offend anyone. I mean, you can't even call anybody a "Hillbilly" anymore. You have to call him "Appalachian-American". Weird. Therefore, never try to offend someone, but remember the "principles" that founded these countries. I watched ESPN Classic the other day, and the Gold Medal Game from the 1991 IIHF Junior World Championship was on. What a lineup on both sides. Russia vs. Canada. Eric Lindros vs. Pavel Bure on "the draw" routinely. Anyways, Canada scored the "game winner" in the 3rd, after being outshot. At the end Lindros stated in his interview that he was sure glad there were "Newfies" on the team, as they had scored two "game winners" during the Championship. "Tut tut", Eric, you should have said "Rock-bound Canadians"! Anyways, here is a good one I came across recently!

Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens, and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses.

And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Submitted by Diane K.

"Good one" Diane! "Merry Christmas"!

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home